Letter from Africa: Freed Boko Haram 'wives' return to captors

In our series of letters from african journalists, adaobi tricia nwaubani seems at why a few nigerian women have long gone again to the militant islamists who kidnapped them.
While news emerged that some of the chibok schoolgirls, abducted with the aid of boko haram in 2014, had declined to return home with the batch of 82 freed in can also, the sector determined it difficult to agree with.
Not even the discharge of a boko haram video showing a few hijab-clad, kalashnikov-wielding girls announcing they were happy in their new lives, become sufficient to persuade humans. "they have to have been coerced," a few said.
"it have to be stockholm syndrome," others said. What else could explain why any female, any female, might pick out to stay with such terrible guys?
Yet, some ladies rescued by using the nigerian military from captivity are willingly returning to boko haram's sambisa wooded area hideout in north-eastern nigeria to be with those same terrible men.
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What we realize about chibok abductions
Who are boko haram
'fairytale lifestyles'
In january, i met aisha yerima, 25, who changed into abducted by means of boko haram more than four years in the past. While in captivity, she got married to a commander who showered her with romance, high-priced gifts and arabic love songs.
The fairytale lifestyles in the sambisa woodland she defined to me become all of sudden cut brief via the advent of the nigerian navy in early 2016, at a time her husband had gone off to conflict with different commanders.
Once I first interviewed aisha, she were in authorities custody for about eight months, and completed a de-radicalisation programme run by using psychologist fatima akilu, the govt director of the neem foundation and founder of the nigerian government's de-radicalisation programme.
"i now see that each one the matters boko haram told us had been lies," aisha stated. "now, once I listen to them on the radio, i snicker."
The pull of power?
But, in may, less than 5 months after being launched into the care of her circle of relatives in north-japanese maiduguri city, she back to the forest hideout of boko haram.
A handout picture released via the nigerian army indicates an insurgents' camp being destroyed via nigerian military in the sambisa forest (archive p.C)photo copyrightepa
Image caption
The nigerian military were battling boko haram seeing that 2009
Over the past five years, dr akilu has worked with former boko haram contributors - such as a few commanders, their better halves and youngsters - and with loads of girls who had been rescued from captivity.
"how ladies were treated while in boko haram captivity relies upon on which camp a female was exposed to. It relies upon on the commander strolling the camp," she stated.
"those who have been dealt with higher have been the ones who willingly married boko haram participants or who joined the group voluntarily and that's now not most people. Maximum women did not have the equal treatment."
Aisha had boasted to me about the wide variety of slaves she had even as inside the sambisa woodland, the honour she received from different boko haram commanders, and the robust have an effect on she had over her husband. She even accompanied him to warfare once.
"these were ladies who for the most part had in no way worked, had no electricity, no voice within the groups, and all of a sudden they had been in rate of between 30 to one hundred ladies who had been now absolutely underneath their manage and at their beck and speak to," dr akilu said.
"it's far difficult to recognize what to update it with when you return to society due to the fact maximum of the girls are returning to societies in which they're no longer going with a view to yield that kind of energy."
Nevertheless in surprise
Apart from lack of strength, other motives dr akilu believes could lead women to willingly return to boko haram consist of stigmatisation from a community which treats them like pariahs because of their affiliation with the militants, and difficult monetary situations.
Chibok schoolgirls are reunited with their households in abuja20/05/2017image copyrightreuters
Photograph caption
Dealing with the aftermath of launch can be a war for a number of folks who have been abducted
"de-radicalisation is just one part of it. Reintegration is also a part of it. Some of them have no livelihood aid built around them," dr akilu said.
"the kind of support you have got in de-radicalisation programmes does no longer follow you while you leave. They regularly come out a hit from de-radicalisation programmes however they conflict within the network and it's far that war that frequently leads them to head back," she stated.
Lately, i visited aisha's family, who have been nevertheless in surprise at her departure and worried approximately her well being.
Her mother, ashe, recalled at least seven former boko haram "better halves" she knew, all friends of her daughter, who had back to the sambisa woodland lengthy before her daughter did.
"whenever one in all them disappeared, her own family came to our residence to invite aisha if she had heard from their daughter," she stated. "it truly is how i knew."
Some of the ladies kept in touch with aisha after they back to boko haram. Her younger sister, bintu, turned into present during at the least  phone calls.
"they instructed her to come back and join them but she refused," bintu stated. "she informed them she did not want to head returned."
Lifestyles on target?
Not like a few former boko haram "other halves" i've met, who're both struggling to survive harsh economic conditions or handling stigma, aisha's existence regarded to be on course.
She changed into getting cash from buying and selling cloth, frequently attending social activities and posting images of herself all primped up on social media, and had a string of suitors.
"at least 5 specific guys desired to marry her," her mom stated, stating that there can be no extra form of acceptance shown to a female, and supplying this as evidence that her daughter confronted no stigma in any respect from the network.
"one of the men lives in lagos. She became deliberating marrying him," she stated.
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But, the whole lot went awry when aisha received but any other phone call from the women who had lower back to the woodland, informing her that her boko haram "husband" was now with a female who had been her rival.
From that day, the vivacious and gregarious aisha have become a recluse.
"she stopped going out or speaking or ingesting," bintu said. "she become continually sad."
 weeks later, she left home and did not return. A number of her garments had been lacking. Her phones have been switched off. She took the 2-year-antique son fathered by way of the commander in the sambisa wooded area, but left the older one she had with the husband she divorced before her abduction.
"de-radicalisation is complicated via the truth that we have an lively, ongoing insurgency. In cases in which a set has reached agreement with the authorities and laid down their palms, it's miles simpler," dr akilu said. "but, when you have fathers, husbands, sons still inside the movement, they need to be reunited, mainly ladies."
Asta, another former boko haram "spouse", told me that she has heard of the numerous girls returning to the organization, but has no plans to accomplish that herself.
But, the 19-12 months-old defined how terribly she misses her husband, and how keen she is to listen from him and to be reunited with him.
She insisted that she might now not return to the wooded area, not despite the fact that he have been to invite her.
"i'm able to tell him to come back and live here with us and stay a normal lifestyles," she stated.
But as with aisha, the choice to be with the person she yearns for may grow to be extra compelling for asta than the aversion to a set responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people in north-east nigeria, and for the displacement of thousands and thousands who are suffering to live on in refugee camps.
Extra from adaobi tricia nwaubani:
Adaobi tricia nwaubaniimage copyrightadaobi tricia nwaubani
The person who brokered the deal to launch the chibok women
Why nigerians love flowery language
Why piles of coins preserve turning up in nigeria
How to shield the chibok girls
'i met the person who scammed me'